When love is reciprocal

When it comes to selecting a prospective partner, we all have one desire: to love and be loved in return. But as we grow older and more matured, our desires change.


We may seek more stability and compatibility rather than physical looks and passion.

This leads to the question “Is it better to marry someone who loves you more than you love him/her? LifeXtra sought for opinions as this has become a topic for hot discussion among people, especially youths.


Segun Afeez, an Abuja-based Information communication technologist, said he will marry someone who loves him.

He added “I’d go for someone who loves me because as long as she loves me I can develop love for her. I will be able to learn how to love her. The truth is that I can’t afford to stay with someone who doesn’t love me.”

Concurring with Afeez, Otitolaye Samuel, a student, told LifeXtra “I’d rather marry someone who loves me because the thing that makes the person to love me would make me reciprocate. The love in the relationship mustn’t come from me because I would eventually learn to love the person.”

Amina Hussaini, a NYSC member, said she’d rather marry someone who loves her because “It’s easier that way. If he loves me I can learn to love him, I can’t live with someone who doesn’t love me. Besides for me to agree to marry him I would have a certain degree of likeness and the likeness can eventually turn to love because love grows.”

Umar Mikail, also a corps member, said he would rather marry someone he loves because “If I eventually marry her I would prove to her that I am worth loving and I believe she can grow and learn to love me.”

In an article by Christopher D. Connors titled ‘The Power of Reciprocity: The Way Relationships Work for Everyone’ he says “I believe all of us were given the tremendous blessing to love; to love one another and to be loved. It’s important to recognize that these are two different things. The act of loving someone else is self-giving. It is not just a thought - it is an action we take purely with the selfless, altruistic intention of providing benefit for someone else.

“Accepting love from another requires that we take into thought the act of being loved. Then, we willingly allow ourselves to be loved and let the kindness, beauty and goodness of that indescribable emotion wash over ourselves. Be open to receiving the love of someone else.”


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