Early this week, social media was agog with the pre-wedding pictures of the widow of a former governor and her new husband. Many went on to air their disappointment because she chose to re-marry a younger man. Many others were angry that she didn’t mourn her husband enough before she decided to re-marry; saying that she somehow disrespected her late husband and even his family.
Hamida Usman, 40-year-old accountant, obviously disgusted by the way things played out on social media says, “The society we live in today is such a hypocritical one. Why should we choose who stays happy or who doesn’t? I keep asking my friends and those around me, why do we have to question every private and personal decision someone takes? Doesn’t she deserve to be happy? So, because her husband died, she must mourn for the rest of her life. To think that it’s her fellow women sprouting rubbish over her decision baffles me.
Barrister Aisha Habeeb, 38, says, “When did it become a crime to find happiness after sorrow? She was a faithful wife till her husband breathed his last. How many women would have stayed back to care for a bedridden husband? Not many! She has a right to find love again and love she found. I personally see nothing wrong with what she chooses to do with her life, would we rather prefer she was a sugar mummy to different guys out there? Her decision is after all not against her religion or immoral. She kept it clean and holy. As a people, we need to learn to respect people’s decision as long as it does not affect us.
David Ikechukwu, 40-year-old accountant, says, “My question is, so a widower can find comfort by marrying a younger woman, but a widow can’t move on with her life or cannot marry a young guy because she has to mourn her husband forever? She deserves to be happy again after losing her husband and mourning him accordingly. If falling in love again is the key to her happiness, why not? Widows and widowers are human beings too.
Mercy Adenike, 35-year-old civil servant, says, “My candid opinion is that they should have kept the union to themselves and their family instead of going public with it. Given the kind of society we live in, there will always be the good, the bad and the ugly side of their public display of affection. It’s surely not going to be easy to manage all the side comments and sometimes direct comments made at them and it will be worse if she has children older than him. The bottom line is that their happiness should remain with them, they didn’t need the unnecessary ridicule that has been generated so far. Going public with their union simply meant they were looking for public validation, which they really don’t need because they are two adults in love. Simple!
Morenike Akanni, 46-year-old business woman, says, “Why is it difficult for many to see a widow eventually find happiness? I am a widow and I understand the emotional trauma widows go through sometimes. A man comes to visit you, you become the talk of the community for weeks. Being a widow myself, I understand what she is going through and it’s never an easy path. The story of the heart cannot be seen through assumptions. Only those involved can explain. May we not lose our loved ones earlier than we desire. Many things happen that outside hearts and assumptions cannot explain or understand. It can be lonely and frustrating, all we ask is for companionship and someone to share our sorrows, laughter and joys with. How difficult is it for the society to support us on this?”