Taming of the spoilt

‘This is a typical case of ‘gidan dad’i na nesa….’ (the home of delight is located very far away). How unfortunate!’ I observed, covering the newspaper page and picking a coffee mug for myself.

‘That’s quite a lament Bint, what is it you’d rather have close by?’ Tahir asked, his eyes on the mug of kunu (millet beverage) that he was  adding small sized gaaya (millet droplets) into before lifting the mug to his mouth. His new found attraction to kunun tsamiya means we will have to be making it in the mornings regularly. Today I decided to join his light breakfast

‘It’s this crazy story from the UAE. That a woman took her husband to court, in order to seek a divorce because he was ‘extremely loving’. Can you believe that? Anyway, it’s like I said, such things just don’t happen here. They can only take place far, far away.’ I answered.

‘Or they don’t take place anywhere at all. You have to learn not to believe everything you read Bint. There are people who get their kick out of making up incredible stories. Beware of falling into their trap.’ He warned.

‘But this was published in the reputable Khaleej Times of Dubai. It say the case was filed at a court in the town of Fujairah, in the UAE. Will a highly regarded newspaper soil its reputation just to publish something people will find hard to believe?’ I asked.

‘Maybe or maybe not, but what did she really say was wrong? The fact that he’s too affectionate and caring it makes her feel suffocated?’ Tahir queried.

‘Something like that, I mean according to the newspaper she filed for divorce because the husband showers her with gifts and cleans the house even before she asks for help. He also never yelled or shouted at her but was always kind and affectionate. This lucky wife therefore claims that her life is ‘hell’ because of her husband’s cruelty-free treatment. She told the court that his ‘love and compassion are so over the top’ that all she wants is a divorce. And finally when she complained about his weight, he quickly went on a strict diet and exercise regime that left him with a broken leg.

Yet she was unimpressed. Indeed she was quoted as saying “I am eagerly longing for a single day of dispute but this seems impossible with my romantic husband who always forgave me and showered me with daily gifts. I need a real discussion even an argument, not this hassle-free life, full of obedience.” She told Khaleej Times.’ I concluded.

‘Kai, I still have a problem with this story. Is there a human being on this Earth who can’t stand being loved and pampered? Unless she prefers somebody else. Yes, that might be the reason. It’s quite possible she never truly loves him and would rather be with someone else and that’s why she can’t stand his Love’s labours.’ Tahir argued.

‘I honestly don’t think there is another man in the picture. I think her problem is that he overdoes everything and like you said earlier that makes her feel suffocated.’ I countered.

‘And is that enough to make her opt for a divorce? Personally I don’t think so. I believe there is more to her actions than meets the eye?’ Tahir insisted.

‘I know why you think that way, It’s because it’s impossible for an African man to love that deeply and that well.’ I declared, taking another sip of my kunu from the mug.

‘It’s actually impossible for any kind of man to subject himself to this treatment in the name of love. I mean all he did was to love her and there he was in court answering a judge’s questions, like a criminal.’ Tahir stated in disgust.

‘But I’ve seen something like that before. It happened in the US where an African American couple appeared in a family court because the wife was seeking a divorce. Her complain also was that the man loved her too much. He helped around the house and because he particularly loved to cook, anytime she asked for a snack he’ll present her with the full compliment of a gourmet meal. She complained he wanted to make her over weight. So it’s really not anything new that men over love their wives sometimes. It’s just not easy for real African men to understand because you people never love enough, let alone too much.’ I opined, jokingly.

‘No, I think The Almighty blessed us, Africans, with enough intelligence to love our women just the way you deserve. Not more, not less. And that’s why you won’t hear crazy stories like these coming from our continent. Incidentally, what did the Emirati husband say in his defense?’ Tahir asked.

‘Oh, he said and I quote “It’s not fair to judge a marriage from it’s first year, and everybody learns from their mistakes. I am and always wish to be a perfect and kind husband.” And the judge adjourned the case to give them a chance to settle their dispute themselves.’ I replied.

‘What is their to settle? That foolish husband should just seek another wife and see how quickly this one will be tamed. Honestly all he needs to do is to turn his attention to another woman and that spoilt wife will be tamed.’ Tahir offered, heatedly.

‘Spoken like a true African husband.’ I observed, laughing at his comment.

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