In a group conversation a lady once said she spotted her husband’s ex-girlfriend at her wedding service and during the reception she saw them talking too. This was greeted with divergent opinions.
Some were of the opinion that it was an act of disrespect to the bride for the groom to have invited his “ex”, some others were of the opinion that it shows the groom has “no skeletons” in his cupboard, another set felt it was a good move from the groom, this way the ex would see he has moved on, in case she had nurtured hopes of getting back together.
Therefore, Should you invite your “ex” to your wedding?
A resident of Jos, Dadson Ibrahim, told LIFEXTRA that he can invite his ex for his wedding. He said “I will if she is comfortable.”
He however explained that it is subject to the cordiality or not of their relationship after the break-up. He said If that person is still in ‘in my life’ and I’ve good friendship after breakup, I think it’s okay to invite her to my wedding”.
“But which type of ‘Ex’? Is it juvenile relationship ‘Ex”, adult ‘Ex’ or spouse ‘Ex’?’ Dadson asks, “All I know there are ‘good Ex’ and ‘bad Ex’” he added.
A young father, Elijah Mopa, said he invited a former girlfriend to his wedding. He said “I did invite my ex to my wedding and she did me the honour of attending, this is because we parted ways with understanding”.
Vincent Olúsolá, a married man with children, responded with a question “First of all, is my EX an enemy?”
He went further to state that, “I don’t think we should see it that way. In my opinion, calling it a quit in a relationship should not be about ‘fighting.’ You can always end relationship on mutual ground.”
He added that he had mutual break-ups in the past and “we remain good friends till today. So, attending my wedding ceremony should never be a problem”.
A resident of Abeokuta, Adegbenro Kayode, has a contrary view. He said “There is something inherently awkward about this (question), which is why it’s even being discussed in the first instance especially if sex was involved in the broken relationship.”
He said “If by “Ex” we mean a former partner in a serious relationship and not just a fling, then I feel they deserve being spared those awkward moments”
He explained that failed relationships can be painful as such “awkward moments” should be avoided.
“Most breakups are painful irrespective of the circumstances, considering resources invested in the failed relationship, unless of course it wasn’t a serious relationship. Even after moving on, attending such an event can open old wounds. That’s unnecessary”, Kayode explains.
A law enforcement officer, Fegus Stone, said he can invite and ‘ex’ because
“She did play a major role in my life before this current lady I am to settle down with came on board.”
He added that “My ex and I might not settle our flaws and so on but the fact that I we dated in the first place, qualifies her to be present. Except, she feels not to be around” explains Fegus.
An Abuja resident, Jahnedu, said that the question cannot be approached with a “Yes or No’ response.
He explained that “The reason why she became an ‘ex’ determines what the answer will be.”
Jahnedu explained that “The goal of every relationship is to help one make a decision. So a successful relationship is one that leads to a decision, not necessarily to marriage. If a relationship has led to a decision not to continue and this was achieved without rancour, I’ll surely invite her to my wedding.”
He said “When a plug is pulled on a relationship under a peculiar circumstance like this, it’s not always likely that they’ll invite their ex to each other’s wedding.”
He added that “Humans are emotional beings. It’ll take a kind of rare, inner strength to see another enjoy what nature or providence has denied us. Inviting one who became an ex under this sort of circumstance to your wedding denotes a lack of empathy since every moment spent there is likely going to be a painful reminder of what could’ve been but wasn’t.”