From the next quarter, therefore, this column will be happy to welcome an ‘Over To You’ with more meat: full-length contributions to address issues raised by this page, or else addressing one of the main themes discussed here: social crises (such as Boko Haram or Tafa); injustice (such as Shanono’s murder discussed here last week); or a hearty laughter (such as Shehu Jaha/Mullah Nasreddin). (And, as you know, my Editor is another harbinger of laughter, as he is the one personally adorning this page with those rib-cracking cartoons on the lower right side.)
Now, then, you may recall that most of the quarterly Over To You columns ended with what we called Epilogues. Today, we offer a selection of those Epilogues from the past four years. Enjoy:
EPILOGUE 1: ALWAYS REMEMBER THOSE WHO SERVE:
“During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a surprise test. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: ‘What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?’ Surely, this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. ‘Absolutely,’ said the professor. ‘In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello.’ I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.”
EPILOGUE 2: THE SLOW ONE (From the book Gems and Jewels):
“There was a man who was so slow in his thinking that he once took ten donkeys on a trip, but he counted nine (forgetting to count the one he was mounted upon). He dismounted and counted again, and found ten. He mounted and counted again. He found nine. He concluded: ‘For me to walk and gain the profit of one donkey is better than for me to ride and lose one.’ [So he dismounted and walked, driving ten donkeys ahead. Perhaps eleven?]”
EPILOGUE 3: ON SEEING CLEARER:
“A young couple moves into a new neighbourhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbour hang the wash outside. ‘That laundry is not very clean,’ she said ‘That woman doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.’ Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbour would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: ‘Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this.’ The husband said: ‘No, she did nothing of the sort. I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!’” [And so it is with life: What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look].
EPILOGUE 4: YOU ARE PRICELESS TO THOSE WHO LOVE YOU:
“A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, ‘Who would like this $20 bill?’ All hands went up. He said, ‘I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.’ He proceeded to crumple up the $20 bill. He asked, ‘Who still wants it?’ Still hands were up in the air. ‘Well, what if I do this?’ He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty and asked, ‘Who still wants it?’ Still hands stayed up in the air. ‘My friends,’ he said, ‘we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what was done to the money, it was still wanted because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or will happen, you will never lose your value: dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you.’”
EPILOGUE 5: THE WORLD CUP TROPHY:
“A certain young woman said of our coveted, solid gold Cup: ‘What a waste! All that gold! Men have no idea! Melt that useless lump and make us bangles!’”
EPILOGUE 6: THE THIRTIETH FLOOR:
“Three students lived in a flat on the 30th floor. One day, the lift was faulty and they had to climb the stairs to go to their floor. Not to get bored, they decided that they would each tell a story. The first would tell a Serious Story, the second a Funny Story and the third a Sad Story. The first student tells his story and, by the end of it, they had reached the 15th floor. The second student took over, and by the time he had finished they had reached the 29th floor. Now, the third student was to start his Sad Story, just a floor to their flat. He began: ‘I have a really sad story to tell: I’ve forgotten the key in the car.’”
EPILOGUE 7: BERTRAND RUSSELL:
“In his Autobiography, the great philosopher and logician Russell had written: ‘Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.’”
EPILOGUE 8: MR. AND MRS:
Anonymous: “If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him cheque books.”
David Hasselhoff: “You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.”
Anonymous: “Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.”
Alec Baldwin: “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
Anonymous: “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”
Barack Obama: “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.”
EPILOGUE 9: YOUR CHOICES TODAY:
“Do you complain because the weather is rainy or thankful that the grass is getting watered for free? Do you grumble about your health or rejoice that you are alive? Do you whine because you have to go to work or shout for joy because you have a job to do? What today will be like is up to you!” Have a great Saturday!
