Nothing beats the enemy within. It is shocking that those who are paid to keep quiet constantly embarrass this regime. I thought Onku Lie has asked minusters and regime officials to clear with his office before releasing any figures. But they just do not hear.
Just after we leaped on the scale of doing business, you would think that Naija has finally hit the G-sport of governance. Nothing should go wrong even when Muhammadu defies Buhari with his junkets. He’s taken off to Saudi Arabia. Of course, apart from wooing investors, Muhammadu would pray for Naija. There’s the possibility of a repeat of a presidential access to the Ka’abba where prayers mount directly to the ear of the divine without entering voice mail. Alhamdullilah!
It is said that the official mistress, sorry, I meant the minister of humanitarian affairs has just received the results of the census on poverty in Naija. To those of you saying you were not aware of such a headcount – I ask you, are you elected, selected or ordained and anointed? If the answer is no, then asking questions is beyond your citizenship pay grade, so keep kwayet!
Madam minister says that a whopping 90 million of our numbers are poor! As for me, I reject it in Jesus name! Really? Five years after we blocked all the cesspit of corruption and rewarded the incumbent with an extended mandate of kwarrupshon-extermination? Tufiakpa! Government has been on a poverty-alleviation jihad since its inception. Vice President Osinbade was the crusader-in-chief. He traversed the nooks and crannies of our country until the last vestige of poverty was eradicated.
So, how did 90 million poor escape Osinbade’s GPS? It must be hiding in those vaults of horror where religious exorcists were working hard to chase the devil out of hapless children’s hearts. People appreciate nothing in this country. Every week, one vault of horror is unveiled. They even found one in Daura! Imagine the impudence?
If madam mistress had put the figures in context, it would have been understood. She just manufactured the figures out of the blues because the last census in Naija was . No reliable census has been conducted in this country since 2006. It is sad that a member of the aza room has chosen to expose this well-kept state secret.
Apart from praying in Riyadh, Muhammadu would undergo a private visit to Peckham – until November 17. Even when on a private visit, our patriotic president never misses an opportunity to invite investors. Only his doctors won’t relocate.
I would not have been alarmed except that at the same time, the Africa Development Bank, AfDB has described the unemployment rate in Naija as ‘frightening’. Now, AfDB should not be creating fear for our investors. Akinwumi Adesina, said to be one of our best sons heads it. He owes his presidency of the continental bank to the generosity of President Buhari. Endorsed people do not turn their backs on those who recommended them. But AfDB’s senior country director, Ebrima Faal has warned that except Naija creates 20 million jobs in the next decade; it would be starring disaster straight in the face.
This fear mongering of Mr. Faal’s is totally uncalled for. The projection that Naija’s population might rise up to 400 million in 2050 is a mere conjecture. No able-bodied Naija should hang their productive gloves yet. There is no need to curtail procreation. People need to keep making babies because it is a divine duty. The charge – be fruitful and multiply – was given in the Garden of Eden, a suburb of present day Naija. Allah has made provision for every accident of genital recklessness. I’ve been young, and now I am a youth; I have never seen almajiri do anything but beg bread and recite Holy Scriptures.
A 2016 report in sciencemag.org claimed that Naija accounts for an alarming percentage of children born with HIV and that 24,000 children died of AIDS-related ailments in 2016. Sani Aliyu, who heads NACA told the group that Naija ‘contributes the largest burden of babies born with HIV in the world’. Aliyu claimed to have found the silver bullet to stop this pandemic. He would find and treat HIV infected pregnant women before they could transmit the virus to their unborn babies. “What we’ve realized is that we need to think outside the box,” the magazine quoted Aliyu as saying. Buhari is expected to shatter the box, not to make people think.
A report in The Guardian claimed that 756,000 kids less than five years old died of malaria in Naija in 2016. With 62% of children born in Naija not registered, Allah has a register for our kid saints waiting head in Jannah!
Of course, we ignore those from the baby factories – a substantial chunk of them are not captured in this bombshell by Madam minister.
I am calling on all patriots to stop releasing any figures likely to embarrass the president as he junkets all over the world wooing investors. They should please clear first with the ministry of propaganda. We should not be courting investors while releasing bad statistics. That is called underselling the nation. It is an unpatriotic act. Perhaps even treasonable.
