Daily Trust

How to handle negative friends

Women most times have friends whose friendships end on a bad note. We all have that one friend who tries to put us down one way or the other or make us feel as if they are better than us. 

They see no good in us no matter what. While some may openly show their cynicism, others pretend to have your back but are actually working against your progress.  Most times, one might decide to overlook such negative attitude but it’s only a matter of time before it resurfaces. How best does one handle such friends? Womanhood discusses. 

Mrs. David narrates an experience. “I have a friend who always ‘takes offence’ whenever my husband buys me gifts and I appreciate him. She believes I don’t deserve the gifts because whenever I want to deliver, which is always through CS, he spends a lot. I sometimes silently ask myself if it’s her money he uses to take care of me. One day, I had to face her and tell her off and since then she hasn’t honored any invite from my family or picked my calls. Was I wrong to have confronted her for once after years of her tormenting and deriding me?” 


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Temitope Adeshina, 37-year-old nurse, says, “She did nothing wrong as far as I’m concerned. In fact, that’s the best way to give it back to her, so she knows how painful making someone uncomfortable with her comments is. Better still, you can gently delete that jealous woman from your life. It is obvious that she is jealous. Don’t keep people that always want to run you down around you.”

Rukaiya Abu, 39-year-old civil engineer, says “In my opinion, she needs to apologize and let her know she isn’t happy with her always trying to put her down. Whatever she said must have been out of jealousy. Two wrongs, they say, don’t make a right. So, I would suggest they both make peace by ironing out whatever differences they might have.”

Francis Ikeagu, 38-year-old pharmacist, says, “I’m a man and I know some or a lot of the intrigues women use against themselves. I would advise her to stay away from that lady because she’s not your friend. And also, stop discussing anything your husband does for you with her. I just don’t get it when women discuss everything a man does for them with friends. Don’t they feel that whoever they might be discussing with might see it as mockery? If your hubby buys you anything and you are eager to tell someone, tell your siblings and your children, or alternatively tell God to bless your husband more and thank him for blessing you through your hubby.”

Nafisa Ali, 39-year-old entrepreneur, “Some people like to dish it out to others but can’t take it. I would let her be if I were her; you can’t force people to be in your life. Some are good in intimidating other people, at least you are not a talkative like her but as soon as you spoke to her, she kept mute. Keep her at arm’s length.”

Blessing Brown, 40-year-old civil servant, says “Well she gave her a dose of her own medicine which she has been giving others for years. Trust me, now she will never talk to anyone like that again. Ignore her, don’t waste your airtime calling her if she’s a friend indeed, she will realize she hurt you more than you did her. She should bear in mind that that’s exactly how you feel whenever she criticizes you.”