Executive suicide-bombing

‘You know what’ I said, looking straight at Tahir, ‘I had no idea she meant it when she said she might not campaign for him again in 2019. It took this new gaffe to convince me that she really meant every word she said.’ I added.

‘Who do you mean?’ He asked, lifting his head from his iPad to look at me.


‘I’m talking about the Big Lady in the Rocky Villa. Who would expect her to start saying that her husband was being tele-guided by two men, to the detriment of the nation, at just the time she needs to be showcasing his giant strides and accomplishments?’ I lamented.

‘But was that what she really said? I mean go over it again and be sure of what you read.’ Tahir advised, looking down at his iPad again.


‘There is no confusion here Hubby dear, its exactly what she said.’ I replied holding up the story to him, on my phone screen. ‘Look at what she was directly reported as saying when one presidential aide tried to stop her from blabbing about her husband’s tenure. She said to him that she was aware he and the other dignitaries were not comfortable with what she was saying, that they wanted her to keep to her prepared speech but she had to say it because it is the truth. But tell me; what truth is there in hanging your dirty linen in public and just to make a point?’ I demanded

‘Well if you are convinced she really said that, why are you making a fuss? Were you not among the ones who applauded her the first time she did the same thing? Two years ago when she alleged that some people who weren’t even party members were running the show in the government, at the expense of people who strove for the President’s success, you also cheered her on. So why should you find fault with her doing it again?’ He queried.

‘Because she didn’t do the right thing Tahir. And even the first time I didn’t really applaud her. What I did was to say that I understood her reasons for doing a tell-all interview with a BBC reporter. Though I wouldn’t say the same things in her place, I agreed that she must have been thoroughly frustrated with a system that wouldn’t allow her to advice her husband, so she had to tell the world in order to reach him. I recall saying her outburst was a desperate cry for help because her husband had been shielded away from her. And because it was less than two years into their term, I thought she was giving him a midterm appraisal, so he could correct what needed correction before election looms.

But now, how can she come, two months to the polls and be telling potential voters that her husband is a puppet on the string of two individuals, and as a result he couldn’t achieve in three years what he could have achieved in one year? What kind of a wife de-campaigns her husband this way?’ I asked, rhetorically.

‘A wife who’s desperate to uphold the truth.’ Tahir replied, smiling.

‘But is her desperation to uphold her notion of the truth more than Hillary Clinton’s desperation to save her face? Here is a woman who was told that her husband was having an affair with a woman half her age, within the four walls of his exalted office, with the knowledge of many staffers in their establishment, yet when it came to her taking a public stand on the matter, she quickly alleged a right-wing conspiracy against him. This momentarily took the heat off her husband and also saved her from hanging their dirty linen out in public. The whole world knew that President Clinton had that affair with Monica Lewinsky but no one can quote Hillary accepting it or condemning him. Now this is the conduct expected of the wife of a top ranking public officer, especially the leader of a whole nation.’ I concluded.

‘In other words you’d like our Big Lady here to tell us lies, even if her husband had failed to deliver.’ Tahir opined.

‘No, that’s not what I meant. She does not need to tell us lies because her husband has indeed delivered. Considering the challenges he met upon being sworn-in; a deadly insurgency, almost rock-bottom crude oil prices and sky-high corruption in all sectors of the nation, I’d say the man has done remarkably well. She does not need to dwell on what has not been done, or who was behind the failure, to market him again. But because she seems so obsessed with harping on about her enemies she tends to forget all decorum.’ I complained.

‘In a nutshell, the Big Lady has disappointed you.’ Tahir observed, humorously.

‘Worse than that, for the first time since that audio went viral, she has forced me to believe what those old men were saying when they called her a suicide bomber from her hometown. I mean only a suicide bomber hurts himself in order to hurt others. In her desperation to expose the men she considers her husband’s puppeteers, and enemies of the Nigerian state, she has ended up hurting his political fortunes by decampaigning him. How many alive, aware and sane Nigerians would like to vote a man who is being remote-controlled by two unpatriotic elements? Unless she could find a way to undo what damage her new exposé has done, she has hurt herself while trying to hurts others; a feat only suicide bombers manage to achieve.’ I declared.

‘Wow Bint, you are blowing really hot today. I didn’t know you were this political.’ He joked.

‘I had no choice but to be Hubby dearest, the Big Lady really took a wrong turn.’ I replied.

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